


Beauty In A Failure

by rabbithole26



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbithole26/pseuds/rabbithole26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's moments like these that make Camila wonder what exactly she is to Lauren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty In A Failure

There have always been two types of students who take the art classes offered at Palmetto High School; kids who truly love art and kids who just want an easy A.

 

Camila Cabello was in the first category. Lauren Jauregui was not.

 

Lauren was a senior and she was one of those girls that _everyone_ knew. She was on student council, she played for the soccer team, and she was friends with the popular kids. Lauren was kind of friends with everybody, actually, but that didn’t mean that she avoided all of the high school drama. She had her fair share of enemies too.

 

So when Camila, a junior, walked into her seventh period art class that day and saw the only open stool was the one directly behind Lauren, she didn’t know how to feel. She just assumed Lauren would ignore her, after all, they had never met before and Camila wasn’t popular. Camila was a theater kid. As she sat down, she could hear the girl sitting next to Lauren complaining about how none of their other friends were in the class.

 

Camila rolled her eyes when she sat down, with her back facing Lauren’s. It was going to be a long semester.

 

...

 

It only takes Lauren’s friend two weeks before she drops the class, leaving Lauren without anyone to pair up with. Camila thought it was pretty shocking that Lauren decided to stay in the class after that, considering she seemed to be the type that needed to know at least _someone_ else in each of her classes. Camila hadn’t realized just how much she had been eavesdropping on the two girls who sat behind her until then, considering the fact that she probably shouldn’t know Lauren’s soccer schedule, or that she’s going to be on homecoming court year, or that her little sister just broke her leg.

 

No, Camila shouldn’t know any of those things, but she does. She tells herself that she didn’t even mean to eavesdrop, but it was impossible not to hear them chatting away as they blatantly disregarded anything their teacher said. She tells herself that it has nothing to do with the weird urge she’s had to get to know the girl that sits behind her. She tells herself it has nothing to do with the fact that Lauren is incredibly attractive. No. That’s another issue in itself. Camila won’t go there. She doesn’t want to go there. At least not now.

 

She’s snapped out of her thoughts when she hears the teacher begin to assign the next project, which they will need to partner up for. It’s not even a second later that she feels a tap on her shoulder.

 

“Wanna work together?”

 

When she looks up, she sees emerald eyes and she swears her heart skips a beat, “Uh, sure.”

 

“Cool. I’m Lauren.”

 

“Camila,” she says with a little wave.

 

...

 

It’s funny, Camila thinks, how you can spend less than an hour with someone and already feel like you’ve known them forever. She can’t remember the last time she’s _clicked_ with somebody so quickly. Lauren has her same sense of humor it seems. She laughs at all of Camila’s jokes, which is a first.

 

They like the same music. They like the same movies. They like the same books.

 

Camila can’t believe that a popular girl like Lauren even still reads books, but she doesn’t complain.

 

They work together in class for the next week and get an A on their project. They start sitting next to each other every day and Camila swears that the entire class looks confused once their newfound friendship becomes apparent, while both burst out laughing at something silly that they read in their textbook.

 

...

 

Suddenly, Lauren seems to show up everywhere. Camila starts passing her in between almost every single one of her classes, she starts to notice that Lauren is almost always on the morning announcements or in the school paper, and she even runs into Lauren at the coffee shop she frequents after school a few times. The older girl always greets her with a huge smile, though, so it’s worth it. Camila still isn’t complaining.

 

It’s about a month after their first project together that Lauren starts walking Camila to class. She usually appears at Camila’s locker after third period, walks her all the way to her fourth period class, then turns around and disappears in the direction her own history lesson.

 

Camila’s friend Marielle, who also happens to be in that class, said that Lauren is late every single day because of this. Camila doesn’t know how to feel about that.

 

...

 

The text comes on a Wednesday; right after Camila finishes dinner with her parents.

 

**_Unknown_ ** _: I know you didn’t mean to drop your chem book on my foot today, but it still hurts. If I can’t play in my game this weekend, my coach may kill you. Heads up._

Camila practically drops her phone too because she definitely did drop her chemistry book on Lauren’s foot today, but she definitely did not give Lauren her number. Not that she was mad that she got it, because it took her no time at all to realize she was smiling like an idiot at her phone.

 

It takes her seven whole minutes to reply because she can’t think up anything witty to say back to that, so she settles on the obvious question:

_How in the world did you get my number? You’ve got skills._

Camila puts the older girl’s name into her contacts while she waits for a response. She hates that she has butterflies when she see’s the girl’s name pop up on her screen.

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: I never reveal my sources._

_Haha of course you don’t. No but really... how??_

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: Don’t worry about it! Unless you don’t want me texting you.._

_I guess you can. I’m not opposed._

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: Didn’t think you would be. See you tomorrow, Camz._

Camz. Camila’s never been called that before, but she likes it. She really, really likes it.

_..._

Lauren picks her up one Sunday afternoon and refuses to tell her where they’re going until she pulls over on the side of the road, next to the woods, in the middle of nowhere.

 

“If you brought me out here to kill me, I’m gonna be a little annoyed,” Camila jokes.

 

“Shut up,” Lauren says with a smile, “Just follow me.”

 

They walk along a gravel path for a few minutes until they stumble upon a waterfall, one that Camila had no idea existed.

 

“Wow, this place is beautiful,” Camila mumbles as she looks around at the scenery. She suddenly hears a _click_ behind her, and as she turns around she sees Lauren holding an old school film camera, taking photos of her.

 

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it,” Lauren replies with a smirk, eyes locking with the younger girl’s.

 

Camila blushes before changing the subject, “I didn’t know you were a photographer.”

 

“No one really does. I’m not very good but I enjoy trying. Would you mind sitting on that rock over there?”

 

So Camila does. Lauren takes a few pictures before pausing and walking towards the younger girl. She kneels down and gently pushes a stray piece of hair back behind Camila’s ear. Camila swears her heart is going to beat out of her chest.

 

“There. Perfect,” Lauren mutters before taking her last picture. They walk around a little bit more before they leave the waterfall, and Lauren ends up buying Camila dinner before she drops her back off at home.

 

It’s moments like these that make Camila wonder what exactly she is to Lauren.

 

...

When you text someone every day you’re bound to get to know them, but there was also something about Lauren that made it easy for Camila to open up to her. It was crazy to think that almost four months ago the two girls were strangers. Now, Camila thinks Lauren might be her best friend. Kind of. It’s weird, though. They don’t hang out together very much outside of school. Well, they do, but it’s always alone. They have some mutual acquaintances, but they never all hang out in a group.

 

It’s even weirder, actually, the more Camila thinks about it, because whenever she runs into Lauren at a party, she barely even gets a “Hi,” but the second she will leave, the older girl will text her. It’s like Lauren can only be her friend if there’s no one else she knows around. It’s starting to make her feel like shit.

 

...

 

Lauren stops by Camila’s house unexpectedly on Christmas Eve and Camila meets her outside in her driveway, the neighborhood sparkling with lights.

 

“What on earth are you doing here?”

 

“I had to give my favorite girl her Christmas present, duh,” Lauren responds, pulling a small envelope out of her coat.

 

“Crap, I didn’t get you anything,” Camila replies with a frown.

 

“It’s okay, I don’t need anything. Just open it,” Lauren smiles.

 

Camila lets out a huff but opens the envelope anyways, revealing two tickets to Ed Sheeran’s show in June.

 

“Oh my god, Lauren, these must have cost you a fortune!”

 

“It was worth it to see the look on your face when you opened that,” Lauren giggles.

 

Camila wants to kiss Lauren in that moment, like a lot, but she really doesn’t know how that would go over. She wraps herself around the older girl in a tight hug instead.

 

“Thank you,” she mumbles into Lauren’s shoulder. Lauren kisses the top of her head before muttering, “Merry Christmas, Camz,” into her hair.

 

...

 

It’s a new semester, so Lauren and Camila don’t have class together anymore, but that doesn’t stop Lauren from texting her everyday. She still walks Camila to fourth period too.

 

The girls settle into a routine for the next couple of months. They hang out every Sunday and if Lauren isn’t dragging Camila on some new adventure, they’re in Camila’s basement watching movies cuddled up on the couch together. Camila thinks she’s really going to miss Lauren next year, and she isn’t sure how she’s going to handle it.

Until one Thursday, when Camila doesn’t find the older girl waiting at her locker, but sees her at the end of the hallway talking to one of her soccer friends, named Normani. Camila says “hi,” when she passes them but Lauren just gives her a half nod before continuing her conversation with the other girl. Normani turns and gives the younger girl a confused look before turning back to Lauren.

 

Camila can still hear them talking as she’s walking away.

 

“Why’d that theater girl just say hi to you?” Normani questions.

 

“Oh, we just had a class together last semester. I had no one else to talk to,” Lauren replies with a chuckle.

 

Camila decides right then and there that she is _so_ over Lauren fucking Jauregui.

 

...

 

She only manages to ignore Lauren for two days before the girl shows up at her house after school. Camila rolls her eyes the second she opens her front door.

 

“Wow, hello to you too. What’s up?” Lauren asks uneasily.

 

“Nothing,” Camila replies shortly, “Why are you here?”

 

“Uh, you’ve kinda been ignoring me. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

 

Camila laughs, “I’m fine. You shouldn’t have wasted your time coming to check on me. After all, you only talked to me in class because you didn’t have any other friends there, right?”

 

Lauren’s face drops immediately, “Okay, Camz, I didn’t mean that...”

 

“Just stop, Lauren. I’m done. Go home.”

 

She tries to shut the door but the older girl grabs it, keeping it open.

 

“Look I’m sorry. Normani can be a bitch and it’s just not worth it to argue with her. But I mean it when I say that you’re the most important person in my life,” Lauren tries.

 

“No, I’m not,” Camila spits back, “Because if I was, you wouldn’t treat me like shit around your friends. You are the most two-faced person I think I’ve ever met. Just leave me alone, okay. Please.”

 

Lauren lets Camila shut the door in her face this time.

 

...

 

It’s the last week of school and Camila is excited that she’s almost a senior. She’s excited that she won’t have to see Lauren’s face in school anymore.

 

But she also still wonders if Lauren got into the colleges she wanted to go to. She wonders where she’s going to end up. She wonders if Lauren still takes pictures in the woods on the weekend.

 

She hates that she still cares. She still cares about her a lot. But she knows that she deserves more.

...

 

Camila takes Marielle to the Ed Sheeran show and as amazing as it is, she can’t help but feel kind of disappointed with the whole thing. Because it was supposed to be someone else next to her sharing this moment. When Marielle asks how she got the tickets, she lies and says her dad got them from a friend at work. After the show, she pulls out her phone and finds three texts waiting for her.

 

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _Hpws Ed?_

 

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: Fine, be a bitch an ignor me_

 

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: I miss youuuu_

It’s the first time Lauren’s texted her since their falling out and of course she’s drunk when she does it. Camila doesn’t respond to them. She deletes them as fast as she can.

Lauren starts drunk texting her every weekend after that though, and they range from “I hate you,” to “I’m sorry” and Camila ignores most of them. Except when Lauren starts to get really incoherent, she sometimes replies a simple “Go to sleep,” or “You’re going to regret this tomorrow.”

 

She wishes Lauren didn’t have to get smashed to address whatever happened with them. She wishes that Lauren could apologize to her face and explain why she acted like such a bitch. But instead, all she get’s are drunken apologies and insults and that just isn’t enough for her.

 

...

 

“I heard Lauren Jauregui got a scholarship to go to USC for soccer,” Marielle mentions casually one day while the two are at lunch.

 

“Like, as in University of Southern California?” Camila almost spits out her food at the news.

 

“Yeah, isn’t that cool? I hope I get a scholarship for somewhere far away this year.”

 

Camila doesn’t know why the news hits her so hard. California is far away, sure, but Lauren’s been miles away from her for weeks anyways, if she’s being honest. There’s a very real chance that she’s never going to see Lauren again, ever, and she’s just going to have to get over it.

 

...

 

It’s three in the morning and Camila’s phone is buzzing repeatedly. She sighs and goes to check it, knowing exactly what she’s going to find.

 

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: I have something to tell you_

 

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _It’s important._

 

**_Lauren Jauregui_ ** _: Come on Camz, please just respond for once_

She doesn’t know why, but for once, she does.

 

_How drunk are you?_

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _Does it matter?_

_Yes. But go ahead, what do you need to tell me?_

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _I like you_

_What?_

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _I like you more than a friend should. That’s why I would push you away and talk shit_

Camila wants to cry. This is the moment she’s waited so long for, except it’s a drunken confession over texting and not a face to face sober conversation and she’s so mad at Lauren for not being able to do this the right way. Because this still isn’t enough for her. So she replies, trying to hurt Lauren like she’s hurt her.

 

_Is this a joke? Are your friends sitting there reading these?_

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _Ha_

_You’re a coward._

Camila doesn’t get any more texts after that.

...

 

It’s a Saturday night when Camila goes to pick up Chinese take-out for her family. She pays for their order but before she can make it back out the door she hears a husky, “Hey,” from behind her.

 

Of course it would be Lauren. She turns to face the older girl and when she looks behind her shoulder she can see a group of Lauren’s friends, including Normani, watching them intently.

 

“Are you sure you want to be seen talking to me right now?” Camila asks snarkily.

 

“Yeah. I’m sure,” Lauren calmly replies.

 

The younger girl immediately softens, “So, I heard you’re going to USC?”

 

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

 

“When do you leave?”

 

“Next Friday,” Lauren nods slowly, “Crazy, right?”

 

“That’s soon,” Camila replies, “Well, good luck with everything. Seriously, I mean it.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Camila gives the older girl a small smile before she heads out the door, making it to her car before she starts digging in her purse looking for her keys.

 

“Camz, wait up,” Lauren calls out as she jogs towards the younger girl, stopping right in front of her, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I treated you like shit around Normani, I’m sorry for acting like an ass, I’m sorry for drunk texting you for weeks, I’m sorry I never properly apologized to you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt about you in the right way. I was scared. I’ve always been scared. I’m so fucking sorry.”

 

Its quiet for a while, as Camila tries to process everything that Lauren just said. She bites her lip before softly replying, “So you really meant all that, huh?”

 

“Look, I love you. And if I could redo anything in my life it would be how I acted this year. I just wanted you to know that before I left. I needed you to know that,” Lauren chokes out, “Well, I better get back in there. Have a good night.”

 

And with that, Lauren heads back inside the restaurant.

 

Camila stands in the parking lot for a good ten minutes before she finally composes herself enough to drive home.

 

...

 

Lauren leaves in four days. Four. Camila decides she’s done wasting time. She’s done focusing on the past. She gets out her phone and sends a text.

 

_I need to see you before you leave._

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _Really?_

_Yes. When can I come over?_

**_Lauren Jauregui:_ ** _My parents are asleep but if you don’t mind crawling in my basement window, I would say right now._

 

_I’ll be there soon._

Ten minutes later, Camila has safely landed in the Jauregui basement, all lights off except for the dull glow of the television. Lauren’s in sweats with her hair pulled up, and Camila doesn’t want to waste another second.

 

“Everything’s going to change once you leave. College is a big deal,” she starts off.

 

“I know,” Lauren hoarsely replies.

 

“But I can’t let you leave without knowing that I love you too. I always have. Even when you were being a complete idiot.”

 

Camila doesn’t wait for a response from Lauren before she kisses her hard on the mouth. It’s full of passion and fire and everything she thought it would be. Their lips move together in sync for a while before Camila grabs at Lauren’s hoodie and pulls it off over her head.

 

“Camz,” Lauren breathes out in between kisses, “You’re just going to make it harder for me to leave.”

 

“I don’t care,” she replies, taking off her own shirt and throwing it to the side, watching the lust grow in the older girl’s eyes. Lauren’s quick to pin her against the couch and she starts kissing down her neck.

 

Camila feels like she’s drowning, but if this is what drowning feels like, then she thinks it might not be so bad.

 

...

 

Saying goodbye to Lauren sucks. But time seems to make everything better. Lauren’s life revolves around soccer, and her new teammates and her classes. Camila’s doing all the fun things that seniors do, she’s enjoying school, she’s going on college visits, she’s happy. They still make time for each other though, and that’s honestly quite the accomplishment with their clashing schedules. They make sure to text at least once a day and they have weekly Skype sessions on Sunday’s, of course.

 

Some days it can be really hard, on both of them, but they trust each other and they are always honest with each other, so it works. They make it work. When Lauren comes home for Christmas, she presents Camila with a plane ticket to California for her spring break.

 

“Only if you want to come, of course,” she says seriously.

 

“So this means you think we will make it to March at least?” Camila replies playfully.

 

Lauren laughs, interlocking their fingers, “Yes. At least until March. We will make it until the day I die if you’ll have me.”

 

Camila leans over and kisses her.

 

Yeah, they’re going to make it, she thinks.

 


End file.
